Reverse Suprise Party -

Want to know the secret to throwing a GREAT Birthday Party? Don't plan one...... Worked for me!

The past two birthdays, my youngest daughter Emily has had a small party with friends, but very few of those invited ever showed up.  My youngest son (3rd child of 4) hasn't really ever had a birthday party.  We tried a couple of times, but his birthday is 4 days before Christmas, and that is a hard time of year to try and get guests to come.   We always say we are going to throw him a party the month before, or the month after, but so far.... it hasn't happened.  My husband and I had both agreed that until Spencer had a turn at having a big party, we would not throw any more parties for the other children.  We told Emily in advance that for her birthday we would celebrate together as a family, just like we did on Spencer's birthday... we explicitly explained we would not be having a "party".

SHE had other plans......

The morning of Emily's birthday I woke with a migraine..... I was determined to try to get rid of it before the kids got home, I did not want her birthday spoiled by my headache.  I took some medicine, went to my room, blocked all the light I could, and crawled under the covers and went to sleep.  Emily's birthday fell on a Monday, and I really needed to get some cleaning done from the weekend, but I didn't wake until late that afternoon.  My headache was still there, but better.  It was so late in the day, I didn't have time to clean or even take a shower before time for Greg to be home.  But.....we weren't going anywhere, we were going to just stay home to celebrate, no one was coming over, and I didn't feel good, so I didn't worry about it.  I threw on some clothes and made my way downstairs to start preparing lunch.  After lunch Greg went to bed, and I took it easy for the next hour as I waited for the kids to get home.

When the bus arrived, and Emily came inside she had a friend with her that lives in our neighborhood.  She said that "R" wanted to know if she could have some cake and ice-cream with us....... O.K.

Greg, upstairs sleeping, woke when he heard the kids come in, so came down in nothing but sleep pants to wish Emily Happy Birthday, and to set up his FLIP Camera to record her opening her gifts and blowing out the candle.  As he began to set up the camera, the kids made their way to the table.  I heard "R" state that she was the first one to arrive at the Party.  Wait a minute....wait a minute.....the first to arrive?  I reminded Emily that this year we were not having a party, she nodded her understanding....

At this point the Camera was set up and recording.  Greg told her to go ahead and open her gifts. As she tore into the first present.....

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KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK............ more guests had arrived.

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Panicking now..... I asked Emily how many people she had invited? Her friend "R" stated matter of factly, "Lots of People".   Greg, half naked, except for his sleeping pants, said he was going to bed, and practically raced up the stairs.  On his way, he glanced out the front window, and hollared...."Teri! The whole neighborhood is at our front door!!"

So I.....having had NO shower, having NO makeup, Hair NOT brushed or even an ATTEMPT made to tame it, wearing YESTERDAY's dirty clothes (and THANK GOODNESS, a Bra) .... made my way through my DIRTY house to the front door....

Emily had invited all the neighborhood kids over to her "party" for cake and ice-cream..... and they all came, including one parent.  Had I planned for a party, we would not have had as many guests as we did for Emily's "Reverse Surprise Party" she threw.....

I just barely, by the scrape of my teeth, had enough cake and ice-cream to go around.

Here is a video my husband put together of what was captured on film.

Lessons Learned At Death's Doorway -

Self Awareness.....

It doesn't always come easy.  For years I felt that who I am and who I am supposed to be aren't the same.  I always wanted more out of life. I wanted to BE more, DO more, HAVE more.....I wanted to LIVE.... to feel that rush of Life's energy pulsing through me.  I didn't want to "go through the motions" of life everyday, but experience life as it should be.  I wanted to do things I had never done before, go places, see things.  I wanted to be remembered, I wanted to feel as if when my time on earth was over, there would be no regrets. No "if only's" or "should haves".

My journey to self-discovery began shortly after my youngest daughters birth.  She was 4 weeks old when I went in for a routine gall bladder surgery.  Very simple surgery, I would be able to leave that same day.  However, as we soon discovered, there was nothing routine about it.

Bedtime Battles -

My youngest two children both became very attached to their blankets as babies.  Their blankets came everywhere with us.  We didn't dare try to go anywhere without them. Their Blankets had Magical Powers.  They could stop tears in 2.0 seconds flat.  If something upset one of them, all we had to do was call on the mysterious power of the "Blankie" and suddenly everything was all better.  No more tears, no tantrum, just peace.  But the BEST power from the Blanket came at night.....When bedtime came around, it was a simple matter of laying them down, saying "night, night", giving them their blankets, and leaving the room......

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Oh, How I Miss Those Days!!

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AN AGONIZING CHOICE -

To Work....or Not to Work....... that is the question my husband and I agonized over for several months, before I took the plunge and quit my job.  It wasn't an easy decision for us.  We debated long and hard over what we felt would be right for our family.  If I were to stay home once again, our lifestyle would have to change.  While their are many perks to this lifestyle, there are also many drawbacks.

This isn't my first time to be a Stay At Home Mom.  I stayed home for 7 years before starting work 3 years ago.   With the second income, our lifestyle changed.  We ate out more, we went somewhere every weekend, rarely staying at home. And we were able to buy the kids more toys and gifts than we ever could previously.  I'm not saying that we were extremely wealthy, by any means, only that it opened up a little bit more freedom than we had before.  Over time that new lifestyle became our new habits.

We began to have to schedule in days that we could stay home.  It sounds crazy, but we had gotten to the point where life was so hectic that we were always on the go. Every Saturday morning was spent cleaning the house, doing all the things we were not able to get done during the week.  Once everyone was showered, dressed, and ready to go, we hit the town, or went to whatever we had planned that day.  We always looked forward to those days when we had nothing planned and could just stay home all day.  With both of us working all week, staying home had become our new luxury.

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Ask any Working mother, and she will tell you that it is often a struggle to balance work and home.

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Mornings were a rush to get not only myself ready but also the kids.  I wish I could say that everything was organized and running on a smooth schedule.... everyone down early enough to eat breakfast together, dressed and ready to go.  But ........... I'm not a liar.  The truth is that it was usually a mad dash to get everyone downstairs and in the car on time.  Breakfast was skipped for me, and for the kids it was usually a quick bowl of cereal or pop tarts eaten in the car on the drive to school.

After dropping the kids off , I spent the next hour or more fighting traffic to get to work.  Getting off anywhere between 5:30 and 6:00 it was another hour in traffic before arriving home at 7:00. By this time it was only an hour and a half before time for the kids to be in bed.  Greg, working nights, went to bed as soon as they got off the bus, so the kids were always ready to eat, the snack he fed them worn off.  There was just enough time for a very quick meal, bath, then bed.  Needless to say, I didn't get much housework done during the week. At night I would stand over the kids just watching them sleep, because I missed them so much and just wanted to be near them.  I felt like I didn't really ever get to see them anymore, and I asked myself...... who is really raising these chilren?

When we began to think seriously about me staying home again, I was resistant.  Not because I didn't want to be home, but because I was scared.  I had become so accustomed to that second income, I was scared not to have it.  I also worried about what impact it would have on the kids, not being able to do and provide everything we have been.  During our discussion we put pen to paper, not only for budgeting, but also a list of pro's and con's.

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All the reasons for me to continue working were material things.  And all the reasons to stay home were beneficial to us as a FAMILY.

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When talking to my oldest two, who are 13 and 15, the things they remember most aren't the gifts we bought them.  It isn't all the trips to the mall, or to the bowling alley, or the movies we've seen at the theatres.  Their fondest memories are of the little things that I once did, and thought nothing of.  Like sitting on their beds, singing to them until they fell asleep when they were very young.  All the silly stories I made up with their help.  Reading to them, dancing in the kitchen together, charades, monopoly, Hide-and-Seek with Greg in the closet for an hour waiting for them to find him.  Greg's puppet shows using their stuffed animals. Movie Nights, with pillows, blankets, and a tub of popcorn.  These are the memories they cherish.  These are the memories I cherish.

And I realized somewhere along the way, we lost those special moments, and Spencer and Emily never had them.  After Emily was born, I started attending college.  Most of my free time was spent in class, and studying, when not cleaning house.  Then I began working, and there was no free time anymore.  And suddenly the decision I had been agonizing over for so long, was so simple.  Each family situation is different, and there are some moms who can juggle working and home better than I ever could.  But I know for my family, I am making the right choice.

It will be an adjustment for us at first........but I am at peace with my decision.

CONFESSION OF AN ADDICT -

HI.  MY NAME IS TERI, AND I AM A DR. PEPPER ADDICT.

I HATE DRINKING WATER.  I ALWAYS HAVE.  CALL ME CRAZY (MY HUSBAND DOES) BUT TO ME, WATER HAS A FLAVOR.  MAYBE IT'S THE MINERALS I'M TASTING, OR MAYBE, AS MY HUSBAND SUGGESTS, IT IS ALL IN MY HEAD, BUT I GAG IF I TRY TO DOWN WATER UNLESS IT IS ICE COLD.  GIVE ME WATER STRAIGHT OUT OF THE TAP....NO ICE..... NO WAY AM I DRINKING IT.

TWO WEEKS AGO, IN A MOMENT OF BRILLIANCE , I DECIDED I WOULD STOP BUYING SOFT DRINKS FOR THE HOUSE AND RESERVE THEM FOR RARE OCCASIONS OR WHEN EATING OUT.    I MADE THIS DECISION AFTER NOTICING THE KIDS NO LONGER DRANK WATER, AND ALWAYS WENT FOR THE SOFT DRINKS OR JUICE WE HAD AVAILABLE.  FOR TWO WEEKS NOW, WE HAVE ONLY PURCHASED BOTTLED WATER, AND FLAVORING PACKETS .

I TOLD THE KIDS OF ALL THE GREAT BENEFITS THAT WATER HAD FOR THEM, HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS FOR THEM.  AND.....BEING THE GREAT MOMMY I AM.... I REALIZED I NEEDED TO LEAD BY EXAMPLE.... SO I BOUGHT SOME WATER BOTTLES AND KOOLAID MIXES TO POUR IN, AND FORCED MYSELF TO START DRINKING "FLAVORED" WATERS WITH THEM.  OH YEAH, I SHOULD PROBABLY MENTION..... I ALSO HATE KOOLAID.